so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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