There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize