I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
