One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
