I faked an abortion last night.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
