Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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