no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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