I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
