i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
