don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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