she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
