I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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