TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
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Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
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My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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