With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
