Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
