Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
