Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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