I want to make a zoo with you.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
