I didn't shave. On purpose
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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