is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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