grandma shit on top of the toilet
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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