it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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