if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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