I like my sex mixed with concussions.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
