Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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