After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
