this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Your cock deserves a montage
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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