just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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