i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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