dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
