I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
