I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
