Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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