This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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