do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
how does that bad decision feel?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
