I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.