i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly