I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
