Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
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