Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
