I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
