how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
