Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
