WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
