I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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