It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
