I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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