the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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