I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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