doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
