id be glad to
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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