we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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