So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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