if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
