oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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